Manic Melon

If Chuck Norris were granted one wish, he would walk through Congress with Ron Paul and watch as Paul, the Republican representative from Texas, pointed out corrupt politicians.

One by one, Norris would grab each crooked congressman and choke him unconscious.

“I keep sticking them in a pile, piling them up,” said the martial arts star, who, at 68, looks as young and buff as in his “Walker, Texas Ranger” glory days. “The ones that are honest, they stay.”

This is black belt patriotism, the kind of roundhouse-kick, to-the-point political philosophy Norris explains in his new book of the same title.

He’s a big fan of Paul, and also former Republican presidential candidate Mike Huckabee. He endorses Sen. John McCain for president, since he figures McCain will bring Paul into the administration.